I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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