my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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