He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
