its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
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I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just pee around me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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