i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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