He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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