so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
