Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
