the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
