So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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