i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
