he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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