i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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