And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
