i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
