oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
