did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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