He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
