I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
