As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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