I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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