yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
