i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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