Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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