Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
and you fell through a lawn chair
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