Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
