I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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