i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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