What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So much rum. So many feels.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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