I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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