I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I AM VODKA MAN
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
