In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
