This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
