She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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