Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
