I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
