For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
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maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
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You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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