I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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