We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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