I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
