I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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