I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
