we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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