I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
