Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
