hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
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