i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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