You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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