i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
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The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
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All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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