just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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