the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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