Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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