like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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