he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
