you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
