I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
