If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
