yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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