Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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