Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
