just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
